wow...

I knew it had been a while since I last posted but I didn't realize it had been almost two months!  What is happening with the time?  It seems to be flying by even though I don't have the perfect plan in place!

The Perfect Plan?  Does that even exist? I unfortunately don't think I have come to terms with the fact that HELL NO it does not!  Not only does it not exist but nothing will ever always go exactly as planned!  So no matter how much information you look up, no matter how much planning you do, you will never have the perfect plan.

You know, I have been spending a lot of time over the past several months...well actually...probably my entire life trying to put together the perfect plan...doing research, developing a plan, trying it for a day, doing more research, reading about this and that, typing stuff up because I won't remember it, developing an updated plan, and the vicious cycle continues....

on...

.........

and on...

........

and on...

not really ever getting anything done other than reading, research and developing and redeveloping in the attempt to get to the perfect plan.

Do you know what I see?  Two months later I am not in much of a different place!  An amazing man once said, 

          "Everyone lives, not consciously, but unconsciously, as if the next moment or the one 

           after that were more important than this moment.

          Ironically the next moment does not even exist except as a thought in your head…"  -Eckhart Tolle




Now when I heard these words, they resonated with me.  Am I too busy planning? Not busy enough living?  Am I living unconsciously and not consciously?  Truly, the next moment does not exist yet and may never exist and I have spent most of my life, planning for something that is only a thought.  

I don't know about you...but that seems like a big waste of my time!  Someone once told me that imperfect action beats a "perfect" plan any day....I think I am going to need to sit on that for a little bit and...well...probably start making a plan to stop planning and start doing!

;o)

Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.

~The Dalai Lama

*hugs,

Mel

   

water challenge...

Today I am challenging myself to get back on track with my water.  I have noticed over the past few weeks that I have a harder run when I didn't drink enough water the day before.  So I am challenging myself to adding at least 8 oz of water a day until I reach the 110 oz I should be drinking.  Seeing as I don't even think I drank a glass of water yesterday, I am going to have to kick start today by drinking at least 24 oz before I go to bed tonight.  I know this will help curb my appetite too, so that's a double bonus!

How much water are you drinking a day?  Do you even know how much you should be drinking?  Did you know the standard 8-8oz glasses is no longer the suggestion for proper hydration?  I challenge you to drink at least 8 more oz of water a day until you get to 1/2 your current weight in oz.

See y'all tomorrow!

~mel

And the day came when the remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

-Anais Nin

I'm Baaack!!!

Long time no...blogging!?

Well anyway...my 35th birthday was about a week ago and I decided to finally get the half sleeve that I have been wanting for a while.  The tattoo actually has a lot of meaning to me and my life right now.  A friend of mine asked if I would blog about the meaning of the tattoo and the pieces so...here you go Lauren!

Lotus (Padma) - is a very important symbol in India and of Buddhism. refers to many aspects of the path, as it grows from the mud (samsara), up through muddy water it appears clean on the surface (purification), and finally produces a beautiful flower (enlightenment). An open blossom signifies full enlightenment; a closed blossom signifies the potential for enlightenment. I have a few different ones at different stages...

Dharma-Wheel (Dharmachakra) - The wheel consists of three basic parts: the hub, the rim, and spokes (generally eight in number). Its underlying form is that of a circle, which is recognized across all traditions as a shape that is complete and perfect in itself, qualities which inform the teachings of the Buddha too.

A further esoteric interpretation makes reference to the three trainings which form an integral part of Buddhist meditative practice, associating each of the three parts of the wheel with one such practice. This symbolism is as follows:

a). The hub stands for training in moral discipline. Through this practice the mind is supported and stabilized.

b). The spokes stand for the correct application of wisdom, which cuts off ignorance and ends suffering.

c). The rim denotes concentration, which holds the entire meditative practise together, just as the wheel of life is held together by its rim.

Parasol (Chhatra) - symbolizes the wholesome activities to keep beings from harm (sun) like illness, harmful forces, obstacles and so forth, and the enjoyment of the results under its cool shade.

Conch (Shankha) - symbolizes the deep, far reaching and melodious sound of the teachings, which is suitable for all disciples at it awakens them from the slumber of ignorance to accomplish all beings' welfare. Shells which spiral to the right in a clockwise direction are a rarity and are considered especially sacred.

Endless Knot (shrivatsa) - symbolizes the nature of reality where everything is interrelated and only exists as part of a web of karma and its effect. Having no beginning or end, it also represents the union of compassion and wisdom. 

 Golden Fish (Matsya) -  represent good fortune in general, symbolizes that living beings who practice the dharma need have no fear to drown in the ocean of suffering, and can freely migrate (chose their rebirth) like fish in the water

The black part is called the Om symbol. As the most sacred sound, Om is the root of the universe and everything that exists and it continues to hold everything together.

Willow Tree - is one of the few trees that can bend in outrageous poses without snapping.  The message here is to adjust with life rather than fight it.  The willow's ability to not only survive, but thrive in some of the most challenging conditions.  In all, the willow reminds us to take heed of this lesson: Keep growing and reaching higher no matter where you are planted.

See y'all tomorrow!

~mel

And the day came when the remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

-Anais Nin

Day 106 - be proud!

I was going to start out by putting myself down and saying that I was a slacker yesterday just because I didn't get up early and I didn't exercise...then I realized.  I did get up earlier than I used to even though it wasn't as earlier as I was hoping AND I did walk my daughter to the bus stop plus my mother and I took the dog for 40 minute walk, so...that doesn't count all of the other normal day stuff that I got done...everyone's beds made, vacuuming the whole house and furniture, dishes, laundry, dinner, a Dr. appt., dusting...I am pretty sure there was more.

So...lesson learned!  Before I start beating myself up about what I didn't do...remember ad be proud of ALL of the stuff that I did do!  On another note, on the walk home from the bus stop, I saw a beaver swimming across the lake out back carrying a twig.  I had to stop and watch him because it's not very often you get to see a beaver at work in your back yard!  Also while walking the dog I heard at least 5 different birds singing...one in particular that I have never heard before - just beautiful!

I did my maintenance run today at a decent pace!  Here is to another productive day!

See y'all tomorrow!

~mel

And the day came when the remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

-Anais Nin

Day 104 - back to business

So as you know three days ago, I had a bad pain day.  Well, I tried to enjoy as much of the day as I could running around doing some errands that I needed to do.  Towards the end of the day, when I was already exhausted...the bone pain started to kick in and I will admit - I gave up for the day.  I took a hot bath, I took some pain meds and I went to bed.

Now most often in the past these flare-ups have put me in such a rut that I just can't seem to get out it even when the pain has mostly subsided.  Not this time!  I decided to give my body a break on Saturday to...recover, if you will, but first thing Sunday morning, I got my butt up and went for the run I was supposed to have on Saturday.  Now I was supposed to run more than 3 miles, but I figured since my body could barely make it through 1 mile on Thursday and I had a couple days of pain I should be gentle with my body.  The 3 miles actually felt really good and I am glad that I got up and made myself do them.

So here we are today, Monday, the first full week of back to school and back to running my businesses.  I woke up at 4:45am, did my Insanity workout - which is insane, btw - and now I am ready for the day!  This is going to be a great day and a perfect start to an amazing week I can just feel it!  Oh and I am down a couple more pounds too having reach and surpassed my next goal weight!!!!


See y'all tomorrow!

~mel

And the day came when the remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

-Anais Nin

 

Day 101 - celebrate life

For those of you who know me, over the last five years I have suffered from recurring intermittent symptoms and pain that is sometimes paralyzing.  Well today happens to be one of those days - I woke up at 4:45am in so much pain it hurt to just lay there, even breathing hurt - not a fun time!  Ironically, today is Celebrate Life Day in my mentor group.

Now, I'll be honest, I went to bed excited about Celebrate Life Day, but I woke up so sad that I wasn't going to be able to celebrate anything because I hurt so much.  Then at 6:15am when I had no choice but to get up and out of bed to get my little girl ready for school, as I was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to get prepare for standing up and walking, I decided I was going to figure out how to celebrate life even in pain.  I remembered that I could decide to be sad about my circumstance and mope around the house depressed OR I could get excited about life and accomplish whatever it is that I GET to accomplish today.

I realized that I am going to have to deal with these days for the rest of my life, unexpectedly, unplanned and sometimes on days when that is the last thing I need.  Some days, like today, it is going to be so bad that what I have planned for the day is just not going happen AND THAT'S OK!!!  I can decide to suffer through it like I have in the past or I can decide to live through it - and today - I choose TO LIVE THROUGH IT!!!

My plans for today may need to change, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the HECK out of today, even if I do need help doing just about everything.  So today couldn't be a more perfect day to have a hugely bad pain day and Celebrate Life Day because at least I do get to have that choice!

Celebrate life today people!
~mel

Day 100!!!

At school, the kids celebrate their 100th day of school, so I feel like today I should have a big a** celebration for my 100th day of living my BIG life!  I will find a fun way somehow to celebrate!

I ran my two mile maintenance run yesterday and thought it was going to kill me...not sure what that was about.  Its not that my legs were tired but its like they were missing something, lacking some sort of nutrient or something.  A friend of mine seems to think that it might be my water intake so I am trying today to increase my water significantly.  I know that I am not drinking enough so hopefully that will help.

I also did Insanity last night, I have to say first, that I think Shaun T is just adorable - he has such a great personality!  Anyway, aside from that, Insanity...is INSANE!  He just doesn't STOP!! He keeps going and going and changing to another exercise and going and going.  I almost threw up it was that intense!  Surprisingly I am not as sore as I thought I was going to be today.

Due to my schedule and the amount of things that I need to get done today I don't think I am going to be able to fit any exercise in, but I am going to try my best to fit in something.

See y'all tomorrow!

~mel

And the day came when the remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

-Anais Nin

Day 99 - First Day School

Today was our first day in our new routine, which I'm sure will be a work in progress at least for a week or two until we get it down.  Woke up at 5:45am, pretty exciting for me!  Decided to do my run when I get done getting the kids ready and off to school.

2 mile maintenance run today - KICKED MY ***!!!  What the heck is that about???  It was like I haven't run - ever!  I'm having a healthy snack of Chobani plain yogurt, Kashi & blackberries.  I am tracking my food and exercise on LiveStrong - I would say find me and friend me like you can on MyFitnessPal, but I have yet to figure out how to do that on LiveStrong.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to try my best to get up bright and early and do Insanity in the mornings...stay tuned to see how THAT goes!

~mel

And the day came when the remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

-Anais Nin

DAY 95 - ReStart!

Ok, ok...it's been a while...I know.  I have been a slacker in so many ways!  There have been some interesting events in my life recently, but its no excuse so I am not even going to go there.  I am not quitting just because I haven't been doing it perfectly though.  I am picking up from where I left off and ReStarting!  Luckily, I have not gained weight so I am super excited about that.  This month is a new month, it is my birthday month and this is the perfect month for a restart.

Someone once reminded me that when a toddler  is learning how to walk, they don't stop and quit after they fall down the first time...they get back up and try it again...and again...and again - UNTIL!  Until they are running...and even then they sometimes fall, but they always get back up.

So here is me, reverting back to toddler days, learning how to do this BIG life right...getting back up and trying it again...UNTIL!

~Mel

DAY 79 - and two more!

Woohoo!  Now I know I probably shouldn't weigh myself everyday, but i feel like i have to right now to make sure that i am doing enough to lose weight or maintain and not gain.  It's also encouraging me right now...I lost another 2 pounds - that's 15 pounds total!

I'll be honest...I completely choked on my run yesterday.  i started my warm-up and it was just killing me!  It's almost like I hadn't exercised at all...ever!  i completely bailed at just under 1 mile and yes I am ashamed but i am also moving on.  In the attempt to find a kick a&% workout for non-running days, today on the line up is Brazilian Butt Lift...let's see what that one is like.  Hip Hop Abs was fun and great, but not enough.  I need something much more complicated and longer.  This will be a great addition here and there though...here's to having a Brazilian Butt!

~mel

DAY 77 - another pound!

I am stoked!  Yesterday I started my run thinking I wanted to try to run the full 30 minutes without stopping. I know this Jeff Galloway guy has trained for many marathons and suggests the run/walk ratio, but I keep stressing about being able to run the distance on long runs and especially the day of is I am only training to run for 2 minutes at a time.  I knew that running the full 30 minutes would mean actually running the full 2 miles plus a little.  After my .85 mile warm-up I quickly started to let Peattie into my head telling me that I couldn't do it - that it would be too hard.  Then I hit the 15 minute mark and I was a little over a mile and I said just do five minutes more...then I was at 20 minutes and I said you can do 5 minutes more just do it...then my friend Heather called and, yes, I answered the phone while running.  She offered to call me back but I knew this last 10 minutes were going to be the hardest so I needed a distraction - "keep talking" I told her.

I finished the 30 minutes and was a little over 2 miles!!!!!! No stopping, not even for stretching!  I am so excited!  What's better - I lost another pound!!  This is just what I needed to get inspired to keep going and work harder.

Today my plan is to do Hip Hop Abs and Insanity or P90X and then tonight a right before I settle down for the night do yoga....
~mel

DAY 76 - what? i didn't gain weight?

so for the past month or so i have had something every weekend, someplace to go, something to do.  this has put a stop, if you will to my losing weight.  i have not eaten horribly, but i have also chosen to not eat as well as i should.  so every weekend i gain a few pounds and then every week i am careful enough to lose those pounds just in time for the next weekend event.  but i am excited to say...that didn't happen this weekend!  i actually lost a pound instead of gaining or even maintaining! now i didn't do my long run again last week, which is making me a little nervous, but I am not going to let that dictate what i accomplish this week with exercise.  i did a hike with my brother and his family that was pretty good (at least for me!) in the cardio department so i am taking that as my long run.

i am super excited about this and pumped to get my exercise on this week because of it. since i may be gone on saturday again this week i have decided that i will run again this week on monday, wednesday and friday. i do know that in addition to my running i need to add some exercises for my knee.  i want to strengthen my knees in order to make sure they stay healthy and functioning properly (notice i didn't say "to prevent an injury" that's because I am working on saying what I do want as opposed to what I don't want...all part of The Secret).  i also need to add some things that really challenge me.  i dont have that sore feeling like i used to when i worked out with my trainer last year and i actually miss that.  i also dont sweat that much on the days that i am not running, so i need to do something about that too.

on a food note...i have to ELIMINATE SIMPLE CARBS from my diet.  I am a carbaholic! completely!  so i have decided that i need to practice eliminating any and all simple carbs from my diet.  now i know this is going to be extremely difficult, but i have to it is my leading food domino.  i say practice because i know that i am not going to be perfect and not eat anything thats a simple carbs and thats ok, but i want to eliminate it as much as possible unless and until i am no longer addicted to and crave them.

here's to an awesome week!!!

~mel

DAY 71 - kick it up; BAM!!!

I decided that I have to kick my exercise up.  I have been reading Ben's blog (from yesterdays video) from the beginning.  This guy was just under 360 and went from couch to 5k in 14 DAYS and in 40:13! That's less than 13.5 minute miles!!!  I have been running for 6 weeks now and I am just making it to 14.5 and it kicked my butt!  His was also straight running - I have been using a 2:1 run/walk plan to prevent injuries - that is it - IT IS ON!  I need to step this up into high gear!

Yesterday I finally added something else into my exercise other then running (I unfortunately had stopped and was only running in July).  I did some Zumba on the Wii.  I had planned on doing some more when I got home from a meeting last night but I ended up getting home too late.

So today, is my 2 mile run day.  I am going to attempt to run the entire first mile without stopping - I got this! I know I can do it.  Besides when it comes race time my buddies will have trained the entire time running straight, not doing a run/walk and I don't want to hold them back.

Food was a little better yesterday.  Coffee (of course) & mini bagel with peanut butter for breakfast; slices of turkey for lunch; popcorn for afternoon snack; chicken stir fry and jasmine rice (nope not brown rice yet) for dinner; carrots, celery & hummus for evening snack - the really bad part is that I had a bowl of honey nut cheerios after dinner because I was still hungry and I didn't even measure so I am sure that it was more than a serving.

I know I need to increase my veggies & decrease my carbs...

~Mel

DAY 70 - just do it...

So aside from being a slacker with posting on here and on my stampin blog, I have also been a slacker with my running/exercise and eating habits over the past few weeks.

I'm gonna be honest with you, for some reason July was extremely difficult in so many ways - mentally, emotionally, physically.  I was NOT motivated at all about anything.  I just wanted to sleep the month away and had gotten back into the mode of not wanting to do anything and feeling sorry for myself that my life isn't what I want it to be and blaming everyone and everything else but myself.  Who's to blame though? Me and only me.  I was not the change I wanted to see and I wasted an entire month because of it.  I could be further along in both my businesses, have better relationships with my immediate family, a few pounds lighter, further along with my marathon training, but I'm not...because I chose not to be.  I chose the easy path of just coasting by the month - what the HELL was I thinking???

So at the end of last week something happened, not one thing in particular, I actually don't know exactly what it was, but something switched in me and I have decided to choose happiness.  I have decide not to let things bother me and pull me down.  I have decided to accept things the way they are because I am the only thing that I can change and accepting things and moving on, looking at the bright side of things and choosing to be happy is much more fun and exhilarating than just coasting and moping around WISHING my life was different rather than MAKING my life different.  So, here's to a much more successful month!

I decided to switch my run days to Monday, Wednesday and Friday because I seem to keep missing Saturdays because I am always somewhere else.  So, yesterday was my 30 minute run and I have to admit I was procrastinating all day.  There were a ton of other things that I wanted to get done, but a friend of mine sent me the link to this video   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbXgQqbOoU&feature=share

What an inspiration Ben is!  And he is right, don't think you can't do it, just get up and DO IT!!!  I watched this video, shared it with my husband and then go my butt up and ran my 30 minutes.  I am excited to say that I ran a 15.5 minute mile average which is pretty good for me.  I am thinking I can push myself a little more next time.  I am happy that I got up and did it.  I am happy that I ran at a steady pace (I am still doing a 2 minute run/1 minute walk ratio as suggested by Disney's Official Training Consultant, Jeff Galloway).  I am happy that I finished without letting Peattie talk me out of doing the entire workout for a total of 3.10 miles, along with 2 minutes worth of planks and stretching.  I am happy that I got up this morning and I am ready for a cross training workout, not sure what yet, but I am ready for it!


Take care and remember...
Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.
~The Dalai Lama
*hugs,
Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

goal setting...

So I did a lot of reflecting last week and I worked on some things that I have been wanting to finish.  The thing that I am most excited about is my sticky goals.  I have determined that I need set goals written down and reminders of what I would like to accomplish to help keep me focused.  So through the advice of Big Daddy and Head Mama Pamela from the Smokin' Hot Mama Club I have written down my goals for the remainder of 2012 and I have also written all of the smaller goals so that I can achieve those goals on post-its and placed them on my mirror so that I can see them and be reminded of them every day.  Check my sticky goals out here!  Why do I have a majority on the left side of my mirror you ask?  As I complete them they will be moved from the left side of my mirror to the right side.  As you can see some have already been moved!

Another thing that I started doing also to help me stay focused is deciding which five tasks need to get done that week to help me achieve my Stampin' Up goals, my Mary Kay goals and my personal goals and writing them in my calendar.  Then each morning during my wake-up, meditate, positive affirmation, daily focus time I look at each of those along with any appointments for the day and make a Daily To-Do List of the six key things I want to try to accomplish that day.  This way when I find myself distracted or not sure what to do next, I look at that list and choose one of the items on there that I haven't done yet.  It's been a huge help with keeping me focused, achieving my goals and not wasting time trying to figure out what I should or need to do next.

I also have determined my weekly plan so that I have consistent days and times that I work on all of the things mentioned above.  I try my best to keep to the plan as much as possible, but if I get off course I don't beat myself up about it.

Having said that, my time for blogging is up and I have to move onto my next focus time!  

Take care and remember...

Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.

~The Dalai Lama

*hugs,

Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

Failure...

I have always had this underlying feeling of being a failure as a mother.  Now Brianna is already almost out the door, getting ready to move on in her life and it's been difficult to say the least.  Brianna has been with me and been a part of my entire adult life and a little over a year from now she is going to be off on her own chasing her own dreams.  This just makes me feel even more of a failure because I feel like there isn't much I can do about her childhood at this point and there are so many things I failed to do as a mother to prepare her for the Big, Wide World out there.  I also feel like there are so many areas where, because of my own unhappiness and frustration, I have taught her the wrong way to think and feel about things.  For example, based on my own experience, over the years I have made comments that men are all the same, out for themselves.  That no matter how perfect they may seem they will hurt and betray you someday.  Every man I have ever had in my life has (and no it hasn't been a lot!), but it was not fair of me to put that opinion on her by making those comments nor was it fair of me to verify those statements by pointing it out when it happened.  Now I know this sounds really bad and you can judge me all you want, but at least I have the courage to admit it to the world, because it's something I acknowledge as being wrong and it's something that I want to change so that Keira doesn't end up with the same perception about men.  I am sure there has got to be at least one man out there that won't do that! ( ;o) yes I am just kidding!)   


Let me get back to where I started, losing Brianna to her BIG life has really gotten me thinking about what I wish that I would have done for her as a mother.  While I can't change what I have done as a mother in her life, I can do something about what I choose from this day forward with her as well as with Parker and Keira.  I left my job so that I could be a stay at home mom and be what they need.  Now I know that some people don't agree with or support that decision and I am really sorry that they feel the need to put their personal opinions and judgments on me without walking in my shoes.  I feel sorry that they feel like they know what the right decision is for me and my family more than I do and also that they feel the need to focus trying to change someone else's life rather than their own.  I know my children need me now more than ever.  I know that part of the reason they need me more is because I had decided to take a job outside my home that had me working 50-70 hours a week...every week taking away all of the time that I should have spent nurturing them.  I took and kept this job because I thought providing them with all of the material things they wanted (laptops, cell phones, toys, ipods, etc), being able to go out to dinner or participating in all of the extracurricular activities they wanted was more important than me being home for them teaching them to be caring, loving, confident, courageous, responsible and positive changers of the world.  Boy was I wrong!  This is something that I feel a lot of guilt about and is something that I will need to work on getting past because, well, quite frankly it eats away at me every day keeping me down and has also molded who they are as people.  


I have been home since December 1, 2011 and I have come to realize that I never really knew what being a stay-at-home mom meant.  I thought it meant that I needed to always keep up with the laundry and dishes

and make sure the house is spotless; that I needed to cater to their every needs always having a healthy snack ready for them and activities for them to do.  But you know what I realized?  That's not really what being a good mom is to me either.  So, working my butt off so they can have everything they want is not what it means to be a good mom; being their maid and catering to their every need is not what I want them to remember me for...then what is?

What do I want my kids to remember most about me when I pass?  It's not that I did their laundry and put it away neatly; and it's not that the house was always clean.  If there is one thing that I want them to think of it's that I was always there for them to support them and encourage them in everything they have chosen to do in and with their lives.  I want them to know that no matter what decisions they make that I would never leave them hanging without a support.  That even though I might not have chosen that decision for them that I would never put that pressure on them and make them feel any less than perfect just because they chose something different.    


But what else?  What exactly do I want to mean to them?  What do I want to have done for them and their lives?  Once I identify that I want to write it down for a reminder and I want to focus my energy on being just that.  Once I have become that person then I can move onto other things.  I will always have that nagging feeling of being a failure as a mother unless I do something about it.  I can't just quit them and be done like I have done with so many other things when I have felt like a failure.  I will feel even more guilty and even more of a failure but even more my children will have missed out on the amazingly beautiful, loving & supportive mother that I know I can be!  


No matter how successful I am with business or personal goals that will always weigh me down, so this needs to be one of my #1 priorities.  I know I could be better.  I know I want to be better and different than I have chosen to be.  For some reason, well...for fear of failure and probably for fear of success, I stop myself.  I don't do things I want to do.  I do things I don't want to.  I do as little as I can to get by and I don't want to "coast by" with that part of my life anymore.  Time to step and be the best mother to my children that I can possibly be.  If I am a failure at everything else in life, but am extremely successful at this one thing, my life will be complete.  I will feel content with what I have accomplished.



Take care and remember...
Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.
~The Dalai Lama
*hugs,
Mel


P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

DAY 51 - I don't have to have it ALL - Right NOW!

Hello my friends!  Wow!  I just realized it's been a week since I last posted.  A lot has happened since then both physically with being busy and emotionally/mentally.  My two youngest children were with my mom and step-dad on their second annual trip down south for some sun and swimming.  I'll be honest, I had high hopes for what I would be able to accomplish while they weren't home and yet I didn't even come CLOSE to finishing half of what I had planned.  I guess the work-a-holic in me overestimated the amount of time I really had to accomplish things.  Rather than getting down on myself I am quite excited that one thing I did do was deep clean my closet!  It was a complete disaster with years of neglect, piles of clothes, Stampin' Up! supplies,  Mary Kay supplies and years of memory stuff for all five of us - CHAOS!  I have procrastinated doing anything because being the perfectionist that I am I knew I couldn't make it perfectly how I wanted to so I chose to just not take care of it.  NO MORE!  I tackled that closet head on!  It took me two days, but I weeded out the four bags of clothes that we no longer wear and neatly organized everything else into sections.  What a relief that is!

Every year, my best friend plans a girls camping trip in Lake George, NY with anywhere from 8 to 40 really amazing women from all over the northeast.  This past weekend was the date for our Girls, Girls and S'more Girls GLAMping adventure.  So Thursday I left for this fun-filled weekend.  There were 15 of us this year, but as always we had a blast with no bickering or cattiness, just 15 women hanging out, talking about life and  having fun and adventure together.  Very relaxing!  I had no plans or intentions for the weekend besides just chillaxin' with the ladies.  One of my friends had posted a picture of us on her facebook and tagged me.  I was fortunate that one of the ladies from my mentor group noticed the picture and commented that she challenged me to do something to make the trip memorable (Thank you Ashley!!).  So all of the ladies on the trip started thinking about what I could do, as did I.  Deep down I knew immediately what that thing should be, but I didn't mention it because I wasn't sure I would be able to do it.

Every year we go to a place called Tubby Tubes and tube down the Hudson.  About halfway down we stop at a rock and a bunch of the ladies take turns jumping off a rock into the 30 feet of water.  I have NEVER even considered doing this.  A part of me always wanted to, but my inner sissy, we'll call her Peatie, stopped me out of fear.  This is what would make this camping trip extremely memorable, so...

I not only jumped in, but I also dove in several times!  I still can't believe I did it.  I never understood where that fear came from and what was holding me back and I still don't know, but it isn't there anymore!  I conquered it and didn't let it hold me back!

Thanks Ashley for giving me that challenge!  Thanks Julie for posting the picture of us on Facebook!  Thank you Girls, Girls and S'more Girls 2012 participants for assisting me with this and thank you to my very favorite friend, Heather for planning this wonderful weekend that we all look forward to every year!  Love you lots!


Take care and remember...
Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.
~The Dalai Lama
*hugs,
Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

DAY 43 - 10 POUNDS!!!

I can't even tell you how excited I am!  I have lost 10 pounds in just three weeks!  I am so proud of myself that I have stuck with it!  I have re-sized my stomach ... well not surgically, but I cant eat as much as I used to at a time.  Last night for dinner we had grilled chicken & veggies. I put a couple pieces of chicken and the veggies (peppers, squash, asparagus) in a wrap with a little sour cream (nope I am not depriving myself from everything - always less than a serving!).  I ate half an ear of corn and three bites of my wrap and I was full. Can't complain there!

I do still struggle with my hungry time.  I don't know about you, but I could go all morning and early afternoon without eating anything, especially if I have my cup of coffee.  Then about 2/3pm I start to get hungry and I literally could graze the rest of the night until I go to bed.  I have been pretty good and only having one snack after dinner at about 7pm or 8 at the latest and not eating anything at 10/11 when I am usually starving, so that has obviously made a big difference.  I have been trying not to have just carbs for dinner like I used to a few days a week when we would have a pasta (my husband is Italian you know!) and I also really try to have no carbs for my evening snack although that's usually when I am craving something crunchy and either sweet or salty...or both.  I am not really sure what a good substitute is for that so I have been having popcorn or potato straws.  I will tell you that I do have a bag of Hershey's Simple Pleasures Chocolate, I treat myself to one a day at most.  I also have TCBY Frozen Yogurt for when I am craving ice cream and I only have a bite or two...instead of a whole quart.  I think allowing myself to still have some of the foods that I enjoy, just to enjoy them instead of fueling my body is one of the things that's helping me stay so focused on eating healthy.  I don't want to be on a DIET, I want to change my eating lifestyle so that I m fueling my body with proper nutrition and then allowing myself a treat, once in a while when I want it and completely enjoying it - as long as I don't it daily or several times a day or more than a serving at a time.

Anyway, I need to get back to one of my intentions for the month - decluttering my house!  Right now I am working on my closet which has been the dumping grounds for years of clothes that I have grown in and out of (and my husband too) and memory stuff - and I'm a scrapbooker so I save EVERYTHING!  We literally put thousands of dollars worth of clothes into a pile to donate.  I had so many business outfits because of my previous work and now I don't really need any, so I got rid of most of them keeping only a few just in case.  And since I am a perfectionist and I never felt like I had the time to organize my memorabilia over the years in the way that I really wanted to I just piled it...and piled it...and...piled...it!  So I am going through every piece and separating it into scrapbook pile or one of the kids piles and then I am setting up a system so that I don't have to do this again in a few years!

I also have a run day today, which after yesterdays strength is going to hurt!  I also have a lunch date with my dad whom I only see a handful of times a year!  And then there's transporting my oldest to and from her two jobs.  Oh and taking care of some Mary Kay business...and packing and prepping for an annual girls camping trip that I leave for on Thursday!  Phew - that's a busy day!  But the only way to get more energy is to use all of it up today!


Take care and remember...
Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.
~The Dalai Lama
*hugs,
Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!


          

DAY 39 - sometimes it's just hard...

I have to be honest this week I have struggled every day with getting up and definitely exercising.  I feel like if I hadn't already signed up for the race and bought plane tickets that I might be slacking off.  Don't get me wrong I have run on all of my run days and exercised on Monday which is a non-running day.  I did take Wednesday off to be with the family all day even though I know I could have worked out in the morning.  Those excuses...my Big Ole But are starting to creep back in!  But I a tired...But I have so many other things to do...But there isn't enough time...But, but, but, but, BUT!  I can NOT let my BUT keep me from doing my best even though it's big one!  ;o)

Having said that..I guess that means that I need to work out at some point today.  It's not a running day, but I finally have a key to the gym again so I should take advantage of that!I really would like a run and work out buddy, so if anybody reading this is from Clifton Park, NY please comment me below and we can hook up for a work out date.

On another note, I also have been slacking a little in the food arena.  Not too bad though because we almost never have junk food in the house and Wednesday at the Fourth of July Carnival I found a fruit smoothie bar (with no line of course!) and grilled chicken and veggie skewers.  So really it isn't that bad, but I just haven't been eating all of the veggies and fruit that I know I should be eating.  I don't quit though like I have done in the past, I don't think, "Well I already messed up today so I might as well wait and start tomorrow!" No I am not doing that!  I am conscious and aware of everything I decide to eat and sometimes, I say, "You know it's ok that I have this one bite of chocolate today."  I just don't say that several times a day like I used!  So I guess overall I am practicing to eat and live a better, healthier lifestyle.  It's something that I will be practicing I guess for the rest of my life.  I am not a failure because I am not doing it perfectly which is what I struggled with before.  I am just human and that's what makes me perfect is that I am not giving up.


Take care and remember...
Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.
~The Dalai Lama
*hugs,
Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

    

DAY 35! What a difference a month makes!

What a huge difference I notice within myself just in the past month.  At the beginning of June I felt very lost and confused about life and today I am very focused and am dreaming BIG about all of the things that I want to accomplish.

My intentions for the month of June were:
1. Be the best ME I can be.
2. Master the art of NOT-multitasking and gratitude.
3. Determine Family Summer Bucket List
4. Develop/Finalize my business plan (this was initially for Stampin' Up!)
5. Put my personal long term goals in writing and start the goals breakdown.

So let's see how I did...
BEST ME - Of course I wasn't the best me I could be every single second of every day, but I tried really hard to truly be the best I could be.

NOT-MULTITASKING & GRATITUDE - As far as mastering the art of NOT-multitasking, while I wouldn't claim it an epic fail, I would have to say I definitely need some more practice before I can say that I am a Master!  Same goes for gratitude.  On the days when I woke up at the specific time that I had decided on I will say it was much easier and I felt much more on top of everything and in control.  I also felt like I accomplished a lot more and not because of the time, but more because of the focus I was able to have.

SUMMER BUCKET LIST - We each did pick out five things that we wanted to accomplish this summer, one of which included something that benefited or helped someone else.  We have even been able to cross some of those things off already which is pretty exciting!

BUSINESS PLAN - I was able to finish my business plan for the next 6 months for my Stampin' Up! business.  I have since, however, signed on to be a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant and I do have to write up my business plan for that.  I plan to work on that today and hopefully have it completed by the end of the week.

LONG TERM GOALS - well you can see them yourself, there is a link to the page that lists them at the top of my blog 5 BHAG!  Check 'em out!

So I think I did pretty well at my first month of Intentional Living!  I have already selected the things I want to focus on for July and I have to say it's a pretty tall order.  I do understand that one of them (cleaning and reorganizing the ENTIRE house), is going to take a lot of time and might not get all done before the end of the month, but if it's at least half done I will be happy.  Check out my five intentions for July:

JULY INTENTIONS:

1. Be the best Melissa I can be!

2. Clean, Pitch & Reorg the entire house (inc. shed & garage).

3. Meet monthly goals for Stampin’ Up! & Mary Kay.

4. Bring kids on “adventure” at least one day a week.

5. Run three days a week, strength training three days a week and about 1200 calories a day.

What are yours?  If you don't know, I challenge you to think about it and comment below.  I would love to read what you hope to accomplish by the end of July!

Take care and remember...

Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.

~The Dalai Lama

*hugs,

Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

DAY 31 - New Routine

Ok, so it definitely takes some getting used to when adjusting to a new routine!  With the children being home I am trying to get used to tending to them all day making sure to spend some time with them and still get everything done that I want to get done.  I checked my June Intentions list a few days ago and I realized that I truly only completed one of the four extra intentions.  So I have been trying to get some work done on the others.  I still have yet to master the art of NOT-multitasking (I am sitting here writing this as I eat my lunch and chat with my husband!)

I have been trying my best to live by the philosophy that when making choices (and I literally every choice, even something as simple as checking Facebook or writing on this blog) that I think is this going to help me achieve the goals or intentions of the day, week, month, year or long time?  And if the answer is no then I try my best to choose not to spend my time on it.  It's very hard to get used to because I am so used to just do everything and usually for other people.  I have never felt ok with choosing me, so this is a new way of life.  I have to say I have enjoyed dreaming....and dreaming BIG about all of things I want to do with this life.  I know that every day is a blessing and I don't want to waste any more days...just surviving!  I don't want to lay in bed when I'm in my 70's wishing I had done LIFE differently.  I want to go to sleep every night knowing that I made the best of that day...I want to get busy LIVING! So...until next time...


Take care and remember...
Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.
~The Dalai Lama
*hugs,
Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

DAY 25 - Finally a rest day...

So as you know I started training for the Disney Marathon this week and today I have to say I am very happy to have a day off from running.  My entire body is sore, which is actually a pretty cool feeling.  I plan to do something to continue with my chain of exercise.  I know that we typically should have a day or two off, but I am a creature of habit and if I skip one day for no reason other than to skip or have an off-exercise day then it will just be that much harder for me tomorrow.  And tomorrow...I have to run 3 MILES!!!

I am feeling a little overwhelmed with starting two business, training for a marathon, being a stay-at-home mom and wife and still keep my sanity (aka. have some ME time - which is always the first to get cut!) and still blog about both my stamping business (click here to read my Sassy Stampin' blog!) and my personal journey to being the best person I can be.  So I have decided that I have to streamline the blogs to be quick and easy for me...well, and I guess you in the end!  I am going to limit myself to 15 minutes in the early morning per blog.

So the first thing is trying to figure out what are the key pieces that I feel I need to include in this blog and of course the first thing that comes to my mind is my goals.  Now I have some smaller, monthly goals, some annual goals and of course a few BHAG's (Big *Honkin' Audacious Goal) that which include of course my marathon training.

Now this is one of my goals/intentions for June, so I am going to take a little bit more than 15 minutes on this, but let's start out with my BHAG as those are the ones that I am most excited about and then I will add the other ones tomorrow and the next day.  Every goal should be put in writing and what better place to put it than here, for the whole world to see and watch - what better what to have accountability!  I can't let the world down right?

BHAG, described by Big Daddy of the SHM Club  as the home runs of our goals, are the Life Changing Goals.  Goals that if accomplished could change everything, inspiring us to push beyond out current limitations.  Everyone must have at least one of these in their life as it will be a game changer!  So here are mine:

BHAG Idea #1: Run a marathon - Truth be told, this was actually not something that would have made it to my BHAG list.  I had planned to put a Half on, but the opportunity arose and I said YES because I knew it would be a life changer.  I cannot tell you what just saying yes has done for me.  Granted, I am only three days into training and I know there are going to be really hard days and days that I am not going to have as much excitement and drive to make this happen, but I feel like a different person.  I feel like the me I knew I could be and I can NOT wait to cross that finish line and prove to anyone that every questioned or ever doubted my ability to accomplish this huge challenge that I could do it and I DID do it!  I know that if, let me correct that, WHEN I accomplish this goal it will change my life and my entire direction and I will be a completely different person that Tuesday, June 19th, 2012 when I agreed to do this!
BHAG Idea #2: Start a successful Mary Kay & Stampin' Up Business  - I did technically "start" my stamping business in January, but the key word here in this sentence is successful.  I would like to get to a point that I can meet my sales, recruitment and new customer goals to earn the grand vacation every year with very little effort, because I have a strong customer base, consistent and diverse creativity opportunities available to my customers and great customer service.  As for Mary Kay, again, another reason why Tuesday, 6/19/2012 changed my life as that is the day that I agreed to become a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant.  I am very fortunate that I know and LOVE their Body Care products and would not ever buy any other company's as I have tried many and these are the ones that I always go back to.  I am even more fortunate that I get to go on this journey with one of my favorite and most inspiring person I know - Mary Cotton Richard.  If ever you want to travel and change the world with someone - she is someone to do it with for sure!  (I am also secretly hoping that she will partner with me for my BHAG #5, but she doesn't know it yet!)
BHAG Idea #3: Take a (preferably month long, at least one week) family trip to Latin America, Russia or Africa to volunteer with Cross Cultural Solutions - this is actually a goal of mine to do every year at some point when I make enough money from the two above businesses (so if you are interested in beauty or skin products or crafting products (paper and fabric) for yourself or as a gift for a loved one please comment below and I will hook you up!).  I would ideally like to do this next year either in April over Spring Break, in June just after graduation or over the summer before my oldest heads off to college.  The kids want to go to Disney one last time as a family next year instead (It's not like we won't ever go again as a family, but while my oldest is still living with us.), but I really think that this would be a great send off for each of the kids when they graduate. Fun vs. a Moving trip...post your comments on this one below please...I would love your feedback!   
BHAG Idea #4: Move to West Coast - this is something I have thought about pretty much all of my life, which was just reinforced in 2002 when I went with my daughter to Colorado and just loved it over there and then even more ever since May 2008 when I went with my husband on a work trip to LA.  Up until a few weeks ago when I started my mentoring group, I thought this is something that will never really happen but I would really love it to.  Now, I KNOW it will happen, someday hopefully sooner than later.  I have this vision of my dream home and it doesn't fit on the east coast, it only fits out west, so I will be there...someday.
BHAG #5: Start an International Non-Profit Organization for Adults around building their self-esteem, self-worth and bringing joy and positivity into their daily lives so they can become the best person they can be -this club will inspire and encourage people to lead positive, happy, loving and caring lives always striving to be their best, rather than allowing self-hatred, criticism and negativity to control their lives as so many of us do.  I am going to travel the world helping people lead better lives - that is what I am here to do!  I know it because I can feel it and it feels right.


Wow!  That's a lot!  Yet I know I can do it.  It will take time and determination, but I know I can do it!  I need some support so if anything above interests you or is something you have done or are planning please subscribe to your right with your email.   I am going to put this as it's own page for a quick reference for me...and you so please be sure to check it out and leave a comment and let's chat!


Now the important part is picking one to focus on right now.  This is actually hard and very simple at the same time.  It's basically down to the first two because I have already signed up for the marathon and I have already agreed to start up a Stampin' Up! business and a Mary Kay business.  The marathon, however, has a set date that, since I registered for it, I can't change.  The businesses can be on my terms, so....


Yup, you got it!  My first one to tackle is the Walt Disney World Marathon on January 13, 2012!!!  


So now I have a few questions for you:


1. Can you mentor me or give me tips or advice for any of these goals?
2. Have you done what I want to do?
3. Any thoughts on what will be my biggest obstacle(s)?
4. Any thoughts or suggestions on how I will have to change to make this happen?


I apologize for this being so long, but now I have accomplished almost all steps of one of my goals for June...check back for the break down tomorrow!

Take care and remember...

Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.

~The Dalai Lama

*hugs,

Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

DAY 22 - the world is aligning to give me what I need to achieve what I want!

So where do I even begin today?  I feel this same way every time I sit down to write on my blog.  There is so much I can say and yet so little time to say it.  I have to say that today is a day that has and will change my life!  As you know I have been trying to get back into an exercise routine so that I can back on my track to healthiness.  Well yesterday I watched an old mentoring session from my mentor group where Pamela said any opportunity that arises that is in line with your intentions or goals make sure you say yest to it no matter what.  I tell you this for two reasons, the first is because I truly believe this is awesome advice.  The second reason is...

Today I was asked by one of my best friends to run a MARATHON in WALT DISNEY WORLD in JANUARY!!! Yes, as in seven months away.  For those you reading this that don't know me let me just let you in on my world...

1. I can't even run a mile yet!  I just started doing a 30/30/30 run/walk program where I run for 30 seconds and walk for 30 seconds for 30 minutes and I literally have done it maybe 5 times since the beginning of the month. WHAT IF I can't run a marathon by the time of the race seven months away?

2. I left my job in November and my husband has been working three days a week since February until last week when they got bumped back up to five days so we have very little play money.  Luckily we do have some money in savings, but other than that we don't have much extra money for luxuries.  WHAT IF I can't afford the race fee, plane ticket, hotel and food for four days?

3. Our family LOVES Disney.  Growing up we went to Disney every few years and I have attempted as best I could to continue this with my own children.  We haven't been there since 2009 and next year is my oldest daughters last year at home with us so we were planning to go next year (assuming we could save enough money).  This truly is my favorite place to visit as it is the HAPPIEST place to be!

But guess what?  Those first two are "What if's...?"  I have played them out in my head and I have realized that I can and will survive no matter what happens and I am forgetting about it.  I am not delaying action for the perfect situation.  I am not waiting until I can run a marathon before I sign up for one.  I am becoming who I have to be in order to live the life I want.  And I am turning my "what if...?" into a "what if...!" with a raised eyebrow.  What if it works out!  What if I succeed!  What if its perfect!

So, today I registered for my very first marathon only seven months away even though I can't even run a mile yet.  I feel like I am about to get on the scariest and most exhilarating roller coaster!  This is going to be the best ride ever!  I can't tell if I want to cry or throw up and whether it's because of fear or excitement!

Another very cool thing...I was also if I would want to share my journey with Insoul Digital Magazine in every issue until I do my race. HECK YES!!!  A HUGE thank you to Amanda Dale! (Amanda - If you read this, please comment below and include the site for your digital magazine!)


I have already put a few things in place (can you tell I am super excited to make this happen?)  I plan to do Hal Higdon's Marathon Training for Novice Supreme (modified a little because there is no way I am going to be able to run 3 miles tomorrow!)  I have two businesses up and going to help me afford it all.  I even have the clothes I am (and hopefully all three of us are) going to wear!  Pamela always says dream in full color so...Yes, I am dreaming BIG and in FULL COLOR!  Here is our top... 

and here are our bottoms! Now we just need to find the perfect red polka dot bow headband that won't cause wind resistance ;o)

Food though, that is the one thing I haven't figured out yet  A few years ago I stopped being able to eat most meat, now I am a selectatarian (?) - I only meat if and when I can stomach it, which isn't very often.  I never learned the best way to eat to ensure I am getting all of the proper nutrition, but I definitely need to get it under control now because my body is going to need all the energy it can get!  If you have any advice or tips, PLEASE leave them below in a comment!  I will take any and all information possible on this subject!

I can't wait to see your encouraging words!  

Take care and remember...

Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.

~The Dalai Lama

*hugs,

Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!

DAY 18 - Back to Business...

Hello friends!  I attempted to write yesterday, but I just had such good momentum going that I just kept going and ran out of time.  I will someday master the art of living a full and intentional life and still take time to blog as this is sort of like my accountability and helps me keep going just in case someone is reading consistently {hi DAN ;o) }.

So I am going to make this as quick as I can, so I can keep my momentum going for the day. I was still in a pretty foul mood yesterday.  Chatting with the other ladies in the mentor group was helpful, but not quite enough to get me out of the funk.  One thing stuck with me though that one of them said...she mentioned how her toddler is learning how to walk just as I am learning how to lead an intentional life.  Her toddler keeps falling down and falling down but every time she just gets back up and tries again because she is just learning and if she quits she will never walk.  Just as I should do...keep getting back up and trying again and trying to go a little further and get back up and try again and again and again until I am doing it successfully.  That stuck with me and at one point I did get up and just start "doing" and was able to get a handful of stuff done which felt good, even though I still was just miserable.

So I went to bed with the thought that I have to have a better day today...and here we are.  I have been trying to wake up earlier, when my husband gets up so I can back on track with my exercise - it has been seven months since I left my trainer and I have done almost no exercise during that time.  My struggle right now is that I am so not a morning person!  Most mornings I just can't force myself out of bed, but watching an older mentoring session last night I heard something that rang true for me...nobody can make me get out of bed, I have to want it...I have to make the decision that that is what I am going to do.  Here we are two days in a row and I have gotten up earlier and I have ran, stretched and done planks all before I have to wake my little sleeping beauty!  HYFR is all I have to say!  I am so very stoked!

Before I head off to conquer the world of intentional living I wanted to mention that hubby and I are thinking BIG.  We are imagining ourselves at our very best; what do we look like, where are we (NOT in Clifton Park, NY I can guarantee you that!!!), what are we doing, who are we with and how do we feel.  We are both thinking about that individually and we are taking an hour tonight and just writing it down and sharing it with each other and then we are starting immediately on making that some true and THAT'S what this journey is about.  I have been thinking about it for month now and I am not waiting any longer to be in the right place and have the right circumstance - I am becoming the person I have to be in order to live the life that I want!  A HUGE thank you to SHM Mentor Pamela Crim!

Oh and if you haven't yet, make sure you watch this video and you can see where my inspiration is coming from...

http://www.livestream.com/shmclub/video?clipId=pla_fede0923-25cf-4ead-9cda-7b64e30d35b5&utm_source=lslibrary&utm_medium=ui-thumb

Take care and remember...

Change doesn't come from the sky.  It comes from human action.

~The Dalai Lama

*hugs,

Mel

P.S. Don't be afraid to leave me comments below!  I would love your support in this challenging journey.  Just make sure to keep it positive please.  Thanks!